As an update to "Inner Rebel," I finished reading Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Markham. My struggle to forgive my parents has completely evaporated. Somewhere along the way, it just happened, gently and without my really even noticing. So yay for that.
Now that the book is done, as well as that particular bit of forgiving, I find I am not finished with my parenting work by half. The magical transformation that Jason affected after finishing it for himself did not happen to me. I am struggling to absorb and practice deep within myself all those good things that are in the book.They all boil down to how to treat someone like a person - I can sense when someone does it to me, but I fear I do not understand how to do in return to them. And so I am starting the book again, intent to soak up every nugget of wisdom.
The current nugget of wisdom I am carrying around with me is: "Blame is just anger looking for a target." I perceive people casting blame when really they aren't blaming at all, and I do my own defensive blaming in response. It's like a magic pile of drama that was never there before. POOF!
I also struggle with validation - that is, seeking with everything I do to get Leon to validate his own accomplishments. If he draws a picture, I say, "Awesome!" instead of "Do you find this to be awesome for your own reasons? Tell me about it!"
One key to surviving from moment to moment, I have noticed, is humor. Laughter dissolves most stressful situations. There's not much that isn't stressful to a four year old. And I really, really, really suck at coming up with jokes on the fly. I complained of this to my husband, and he suggested I run with Leon's current vein of humor: bodily functions. Yessssss, fart jokes! So if you hear me threaten to fart on my son, please don't report me to the police. I'm not a crappy mom, I'm just crappy at jokes...
Speaking of jokes, a man with R.A. walks into a bar!
This is hilarious because 1) he is probably a she - women are three times more likely to have RA. 2) "Walks" should be "hobbles stiffly" - ahhh good old joint pain and morning stiffness. (No not the good kind.) And finally, 3) "A bar" being a place to buy alcohol - when most folk with RA take medication that is too harsh on their liver to allow them to drink.
See, I am bad at jokes...
