Saturday, December 13, 2014

STUFF

I wrote the following this summer:

Insomnia again.

I can't afford to lose sleep tonight. I'm way in sleep debt. BUT here I am.

I've done all my usual tricks for getting back to sleep: meditation, poetry writing, net surfing, meditating again, moving to a new location, tarot...

Tonight my head is a-whirl with self reflection.  Usually this manifests itself into some sort of art, writing, poem, etc., but tonight it seems content to prevent my sleep.

We recently got a huge tub of legos. It's been like candy for my son, who loves them and loves playing with them. And now that he had this massive pile, he just wants MORE. Not more Lego's necessarily, but more STUFF.

When I was young, my parents did not have much spare income. I was told no about new toys because we did not have enough money. I think things changed at some point and I started getting more toys... And maybe I should not have. Maybe, instead, my parents should have kept the STUFF to a minimum even though they could afford not to.

Because now that I have my own wealth, I find myself feeling trapped into Leon's desire of things. My son wants a toy. He thinks it will make him happy (and it will for a while). And I have got no muscle built up for helping him to resist that urge for stuff.

We offered to pay him to do extra chores around the house so he could save and buy himself a toy. He enthusiastically did so the first day. Now he is starting to get a feel for work on top of his usual responsibilities, and it must feel like too much for him. I don't push him; I hope I can transfer his Desire for a Toy into Working Hard for a Toy, but truly I don't know if this is the right time for him. Or is it too late? Ah, being a parent. So many unknowns.

UPDATE:

We finally implemented the Toy Library from Simplicity Parenting. Most the kid toys are out in the garage in bins, and they are allowed to check out three toys from the library a day. They must return their old ones before they check out new ones.
It has been AMAZING.

They nearly never check out toys. We have less mess to clean up. In fact a ten-minute tidy, which we have started to do every day, is enough to get the house under control.

In addition, last year we started the One Gift Rule. Everyone, grandparents too, can only give one thing for Christmas to each child. Last year, Leon complained bitterly about this one gift rule.  But THIS YEAR, he is thoughtfully considering which one thing he wants for Christmas. (He's settled on an RC car.)

Sure is nice to look back in my old problems and see they are better.

He never did save money fir the marble run, but he did trade in all his Halloween candy for it.

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